I can only remember farting 2 times today...

Being the person people want you to be
Eating whenever you feel like
Tricking yourself to thinking, work is a good life choice
Using the internet to learn anything
reading lips, picking locks, fly a plane, ride a shark, punch a gorrilla, grow your own midget
Watch things fight
Scorpion vs Tarrantula, cat vs snake, baby vs snake
Take regular showers
Wash dishes immediately after use
Opens windows for fresh air
Burning the heart off your sleeve and rubbing the ashes into your eyes
Corrode the white clouds on your insides
Breathe in positive color air, breath out black tarnished air
Eyes turn into velvet, smoothing your world
Crying only necessary when yawning
Becoming conscious of your own consciousness
Heavy head droopy eyes black tongue
Comfy feet, clean socks, mouth wash
IF only there were a way to be completely satisfied with the present without thinking about being anything
Where I am is where I want to be
I live a life of temporary regrets anything after that I forget but not on purpose
It's easier to save a fly than to kill it. Why put in the effort to destroy
What is crushed red velvet?
Frozen Smashed colored fabric???
What's the difference between coincidence and fate?
In the grand scheme of my life what would be most productive of my being?
What if I was a different animal how would I feel and think?
My life is composed of I likes...
I like this so I this. I like to consume this so I buy this. I like to this so I go and do this.
I like that and wish I could do that. I like that and one day I will have that.
I don't like where i'm at at so i'll be somewhere I like instead
Why can't my life be composed of I dominate in...
I dominate in this so I do this. I dominate doing that so I do that.
I dominate this I dominate that I dominate a habitat
I. I. I. me. me. me.
MY CAR! MY ROOM! MY LAPTOP! MY CLOTHES! MY FOOD! MY STUFF! MY BLOG. MY WEBSITE! MY PROFILE! MY BANK ACCOUNT! MY INSURANCE! MY LOVE LIFE! MY FRIENDS! MY WORLD! ME! ME! ME!
your feelings, your happiness, your smile, your wealth, your hunger, your stuff, your blog, your website, your profile, your bank account, your insurance, your love life, your friends your world, ME! ME! ME!
I don't always tell stories to boast about myself. Only 65% of the time and when I do. I am immediately annoyed after but too embarrassed to mention anything and too late to do anything different.
Sleep, dream, expand my mind.
Looking forward to this life of possibilities
I drink the light
I am the light
my soft lips are slightly cold and subtly wet.
my nipples are like the tassels i will put on them.
time to party in my ridiculous nature
in the infatuation hindered in duality to peculiar beginnings of an ancient violin that plays itself with this heart
means absolutely nothing.

My play opened tonight

Sitting back stage, depressed, jaded, looking down on younger actors
embarrassed & ashamed by the art I had created myself, feels much like the moment before you die
my lungs arent giving me any oxygen
the mc reads my jokes, audience goes into a laughing frenzy
play starts, the audience is silent
dialog starts the audience starts barking laughter
I enter on stage audience wont shut up laughing
3 men dance to shakira, once again thank you audience
play ends, bow, leave. hug cast members, feeling nice,
jaimeson on the rocks in a hotel bar
come back to see audience during festival intermission
get nice compliments, "your show is the funniest show alive theatre has ever done."
leave, arrive at home, wash up, eat a twinkie, drink a coke zero
write a blog

Things that matter

This morning I pooped. Felt gooooood.